by Have you ever stayed up all night just to see the stars?
Have you ever watched the moon cross the sky?
Have you ever noticed the different qualities of darkness that paint the world at nighttime?
If you have, you’ve experienced something magical that few people ever will.
I only know how magical, because I finally stayed up to find out.
At the end of August, I participated in a long-awaited, eight-day wilderness trip guided by my friend Kinde, three days of which were spent on my own, fasting, with little more than some water, a sleeping bag and a tarp. My only companions were free-ranging cows, the flickers that nested in the hollow tree my tarp was lashed to, the flies whose buzzing soon became song, and a salamander that woke me in the middle of the night.
On my final night alone, I stayed up and wondered at the beautiful sky.
At the way dusk and dawn both involve a hidden sun, but look and feel so very different from each other.
At the way the stars seem to travel and rotate, when, really, it is us and the earthly orb we inhabit that are moving.
At the way a near-full moon illuminates one’s surroundings, not in color, but in shades of grey and silver shaped by shadow.
And at how the darkness swallows you whole when that light is gone and makes the familiar suddenly not.
Darkness can be terrifying.
We often fear what we cannot see or what loses its familiarity in the shadow.
We wonder what is lurking, hiding, assuming stealthy cover in the dark.
We may shy away from the idea of darkness as a general rule, seeking light and happiness and the comfort of what is on the surface.
Darkness can also be illuminating.
What I learned is that darkness offers a different perspective on and experience of a world we think we know.
It sharpens the senses we don’t rely on as much in the daylight. We notice sounds and smells and sensations that would otherwise blend into the hubbub of the day, or which only come out at night.
It reveals a part of ourselves to ourselves that we rarely have the opportunity to get to know.
And, while many things are obscured in the dark, when the dawn finally comes, we see them all the more clearly.